Why do you think the perps are doing this to you?

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Rena I Knew

The Rena I Knew

I do not normally bond with people very easily; however, when I first met Rena at the San Jose TI support group I felt a bond with her nearly instantaneously.  I cared very much for her even though we had just met.  Altogether, I only knew her for about 7 weeks, but how long does it take for one to develop deep feelings of caring, compassion, concern, and affection for another person?

The Rena I knew was of a person possessing a very healing presence.  She spoke and interacted with genuine compassion and feeling.  As a TI for roughly 4 years now, I have developed a great hunger for the milk of human kindness, to once again simply experience the luxury of interacting with a fellow human being on a soulful level without fear of being deceived, humiliated, or otherwise made to feel upset.  Rena provided that kindness for me, and I did all I could to give it back to her.

During the TI support group meetings, Rena would often become tearful as a result of the pain and cruelty inflicted upon her by the DEW and OS.  In spite of this, she never had any harsh words for those responsible for it.  She only expressed a desire to communicate with them and to understand why they were doing it.

Rena was the type of soul that this world desperately needed.  She had a heart full of love, goodness, and an unflinching desire to help others.  As a manifestation of her character, she earned a Master's Degree in Social Work at the University of Minnesota.  As part of her training, she had worked crisis phone lines herself, dealing with suicidal individuals and counseling them away from suicide and towards life.  In the end, neither her own knowledge and training in dealing with these situations or my apparently weak attempts to support her made any difference in her situation.  Her pain, she must have believed, was simply too great for her to go on.

When I heard the news of her suicide, I had what I would call a breakdown of sorts, cried for hours, lamented my loss, and called in sick to work the whole next week.  Since returning to work, I have gone home early three times as a direct result of my grief and pain.  On those days that I have been able to complete my work shift, I have cried at some point during that shift, usually towards the end when I have become tired and my defenses have been worn down by my night-long battle against the hurt and devastation of having lost someone extremely important to me.

The only thing that gives me comfort and keeps me sane is the belief that she is now being tended to and cared for by our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Fellow TI Committed Suicide

I am feeling sick with grief today.

Someone I knew, who also happened to be a TI, committed suicide on the morning of Sunday, September 28, 2008.

We had known each other for a couple of months now.  I met her at a meeting of fellow TIs in San Jose, California.  I liked her from the moment I first met her.  She had a very sweet and vulnerable personality.  This type of lady has always disarmed me.

She had her own blog dealing with her troubles dealing with gangstalking as follows:  http://tinyurl.com/4knhho

I really can't say anything more right now, heart sick and grief-stricken.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Exposing The Gangstalkers To Non-TIs

Yes, this is the trick, finding a way to expose them in such a way that we can show the non-TIs what it is that they do, how they first make themselves known to us, that initial process of sensitization that gets the whole gangstalking ball rolling.

I remember when it first started for me, the odd and exaggerated behaviors that they exhibited.  They acted in such a manner that a normal person would be compelled to notice.

Exposing these bastards is possible, but I believe that the possibility of doing so exists primarily (but not exclusively) in a small timeframe.

That timeframe occurs at the very beginning stages of gangstalking, the first few weeks to months when these odd behaviors known to TIs as "street theater" are the most obvious.  It is at this time that they the gangstalkers will be carrying on and acting out very visibly, even to non-TIs.

The problem is that most people who are new to this sinister world are not likely to know enough to attempt to record what it is that the perps of gangstalking are doing to them.

My guess is that there are very few (if any) TIs out there who also happen to be professional photographers.  The reason is obvious.  This would be the type of individual who would almost always be carrying a camera of some sort around with them, always being on the ready to catch that great photograph.  It would not take long for someone like that to catch a perp off guard and start filming video of their actions.

Having said the above, however, I have seen very few good videos on YouTube or anywhere else that show what it is to be a TI and what it is that the perps do to us.  Most of what I see are videos of those things that trigger that particular TI and are meaningless to a non-TI.  Quite often, these videos are meaningless to myself as well, as the things that are shown are not triggers for myself at all.

It is easy to see why those who are unaffected by this would read the blogs and view the videos and conclude that we are all a bunch of paranoid nutjobs.  There are only a small handful of videos out there that actually show anything that would be meaningful to a non-TI.

So what do we as veteran TIs do to deal with this problem?  My stalkers are very careful to not overdo the street theater when there are lots of other people around.  They perform their triggering skits very subtly such that I will notice and be triggered by their actions while those around me will not have a clue that harassment has indeed taken place.

Here is a possible solution:  We as TIs could potentially come together to perform reenactments of these street theater skits.  One TI could play the role of the TI, while the others could act as the perps, performing the initial phases of street theater that got us sensitized to these behaviors and objects in the first place.

I know, I know, you are probably saying something like, "TIs come together?  I have never even met another TI, and those whom I have been in contact with are in all parts of the country."  I agree that this would be a difficult undertaking for just that reason, but I throw it out there in the hopes that there are enough TIs within a geographical area who also know each other and would be willing to undertake such a thing.

Just remember, you are doing this for the non-TIs to illustrate to them what it is that is being done to us, so although I hate to be the harsh taskmaster, I submit to you that if there is such a group of TIs out who believe that they can take me up on this idea, then please, please, please do as good and tasteful job as you possibly can.  Although our numbers are growing, our credibility is still low, so a good competent job is needed.

A second suggestion would be for a computer savvy person out there to get some quality animation software and produce an animation of what I have described above.  This would also preserve one's anonymity, something that I believe most TIs would not want to lose, as who wants people one works with to think that we have lost our minds.  Unfortunately, I do believe that is still the overall impression that many non-TIs have of us, and it is going to take a lot of quality and competent work to dig ourselves out of that hole.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

What is Organized Stalking/Gangstalking?

This is to serve as my first post of what I expect to be many regarding the still as of yet little known crime of organized stalking/gangstalking.  These two terms are used interchangeably in the online community of targeted individuals (TI), and I will do the same.

Gangstalking is a phenomenon whereby groups of seemingly ordinary individuals band together to ruin the lives of their chosen targets.  They systematically alienate a given target from family, friends, fellow workers, and anyone with whom the target may be involved.  There are targets who have been known to commit suicide as a result of the relentless harassment.  They may follow in cars or on foot, slander, mock, insult, make threatening gestures, engage in noise campaigns outside of a target's home or workplace, engage in strange and bizarre behaviors for primarily the target's eyes to see, and many targets also claim that they are targeted with what are called "directed energy weapons."  Although to my knowledge I have never been targeted by these weapons, I do in fact believe and support those other targets who claim that they have.

These organized stalkers, once they have gotten a given TIs attention, will do what they can to sensitize the target to various stimuli such that these stimuli will serve as negative emotional and psychological triggers for the target.  This is accomplished by getting the target to associate various common objects and/or normal everyday behaviors with the stalkers themselves and may include but are not limited to such things as pens, pencils, cell phones, laptop computers, colors, coughing, spitting, etc.  As a group, these stalkers will concentrate on one item or behavior and repeatedly make themselves known to their target while interacting with this chosen item or behavior.

As examples, I myself have been sensitized to cell phones as an object and spitting as a behavior, two ordinarily benign and innocuous things.  One day as I was leaving an apartment that I once lived in, I could not help but notice that everyone in and around the swimming pool was handling their cell phones in a rather odd manner.  They were waving them over their heads, looking at their cell phones and then looking at me repeatedly, endlessly pushing the buttons of the cell phone in rapid fashion in a manner that would suggest a disorganized and helter skelter jumble of letters and numbers as opposed to an attempt to compose a well thought out message.  Others at the swimming pool were simply staring at me with expressions of utter hostility, hate, and oddness.  Upon observing these people and their strange actions, I had thought that they were strange and were perhaps mistaking me for someone else or were simply playing a gag or prank on me, so I dismissed it as the actions of rude people.

However, as I went on throughout my day and every day for the next several weeks thereafter I came across this cell phone behavior too many times to discount any longer.  Cell phones over this period of time became an object of dread for me, as whenever I saw someone using one (which of course is quite often now in our technology-saturated culture) I had to stop and wonder if this person was involved with this harassment as well.  Most people would simply use their cell phones in a normal way without any sign of being one of "them."  Unfortunately, however, all too often I would come across another of the gangstalkers who would trigger me by acting out in some fashion as they used the cell phone, usually making eye contact and usually a look of hostility upon their faces.

It is believed that the mechanism utilized to create this sensitization to these objects and behaviors is what has come to be known as Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP).  It is a mind technology developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler and made famous by such people as Anthony Robbins and others.  Unfortunately, however, this is something that although it was designed with the idea of helping people to overcome various phobias and unhealthy behaviors, it is now being used to create phobias and destroy a given individual.  It is a process where one feels as if one's personality is being whittled down to the point where nothing may be left.

I myself have been changed by this in a way in which I will never forget.  I am not the same man I used to be.  I used to take my autonomy for granted, being able to simply go out to grab a bite to eat, go to a store or wherever.  Now, however, the first thing I think about is the question of whether or not I will encounter one or more of these hideous people.

In my own estimation of myself before all of this started, I was a basically goodhearted and benign individual, shying away from attention usually, willing to simply exist in a rather unglamorous life, minding my own business, and simply living my life.  There is no good reason as to why I should have been chosen for this.  Much speculation has taken place within the TI community as to why anyone would be the target of such a thing as organized stalking.

There are only two reasons that I can come up with:  (1) I am a loner without much in terms of financial or familial support; and (2) I was at one time an employee of what was then known as Lockheed Missile and Space Company, and I was in the process of being investigated by the FBI for a security clearance.  However, I ended up not staying with that company and left before the investigation had been completed; thus, I never received any security clearances.

So there you have it, my first post in my new blog regarding the crime of gangstalking/organized stalking.